Santa is Evil
Merry Christmas everyone
Lets get into it.
The North Pole is a totalitarian fascist state. Do you disagree with me. Of course not. Let me lay out my argument.
1) Cult of the Personality: Have you ever seen any movie about the north pole, hes worshiped like a god
2) Surveillance: "He sees you when your sleeping, he knows when your awake, He knows when you have been bad or good." Come on people, wake up and smell the oppression!
3) Militaristic Society: all the elves in uniform! Working in collectives! To make toys... or weapons...
4) Ever notice how there are never any complaints by the elves about Santa... because anyone who complains gets sent to "Special Re-education Toy Factories"
It wont be long till legions of candy cane warriors and reindeer shock troops come pouring over the border. Thats why I think Canada and Russia should ally against the common threat of North Polish aggression. Containment. Thats the name of the game. We got to talk with the other northern nations, Finland, Iceland, Norway, Sweden. Together, we can stop the merry red sleigh of tyranny.
DOWN THE FAT MAN!!!!
Hi. How was everyones christmas. If you truly love me, tell me your favorite gift was this year! Mines was a camera! I love taking pictures of things. Things are awesome!!!
Happy new years, peoples!!! YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!! SANTA IS WATCHING YOU!!!
Strange Names and weather
okay, I need to talk about politics, the presidential race. I have a question. What the heck is with all this bizzare names?
Huckabee?
Barack Obama?
Mitt Romney? Who names their kid Mitt? What was wrong with his parents? Do we really want the leader of the free world coming from a gene pool that thought it was a good idea to name their kid "Mitt"?
And Mike Huckabee was in a band? Called "Capital Offense"? And Soutern Baptist? Isnt that like against some law, like against the devils music, or dancing, or electricity, or fun?
Enough of that. Its really cold in Ontario. Cold enough to freeze buggers in you nose. And thats cold. Believe me. And its snowing. ANd theres a snow storm coming up, by all accounts. So If I don't turn up online for a while, its because my frozen corpse is lying buried under a meter of snow. You will hear about in spring.
Just warning you. Maybe I need some mitts... ITS NOT A NAME, MITT. ITS JUST NOT REASONABLE.... or a tuque.
Speaking of weather and presidential candidates, I wonder what Gore is up too. I miss Gore in politics. He was like Bush's and Clinton's Straight man. For a glorious decade, he entertained us with his flat oblivious responses to us making fun of him. Clinton, the sex crazed hillbilly tried to avoid getting caught by his stern wife, while Al Gore tried to discover what it meant to be human. I miss the Clintons. I hope Hilary gets elected, and not just because she is the only candidate with a normal name, and that her ancestory does not include polygamists, or that she is the second most attractive candidate in the primaries (I'm looking at you Barack, you sexy probably black man)
Anyways, in conclusion, Al Gore is a robot sent from the future to prevent us from destorying our planet, just like Schazenager. So dont be surprised if you meet him if he asks you where "Sarah Conner" is.
Bye bye
