Some Startling revelations
So I haven't post in a while. So some quick updates. I moved out into Ottawa. Guess who my roomate is....W...
W...
O...
N...
She is at this moment gots a green face mask of something on, and is reading a vampire novel called, I kid you not, "Ludcious Craving".
But that is old news.
Two new items. I have become an amatuer stand up comedian. I don't talk about you guys. Mainly just drunk people at the bar, my grandfather, and WWON (maybe Wicked Witch of the Right the Frack Here in my House? WWORFHH... worf?). I am sure I will mention Persian Princess, but only because I find Iran hilarious.
Other related item, I went to the BLUE COLLAR TOUR, with Jeff Foxworthy and Bill Engvall and stupid Larry. Ron couldn't come. Apparently hes not allowed out of the states. Poor Tater. We miss your ramblings.
Now Jeff mentioned during the act that all of his routine came from his family. So in honour, I present to you a LIST that is entirely true and passed on my own family experiences.
You might be a Redneck if...
Your Parents had their wedding reception in a Barn...
your grandfather takes you on a two hour trip because the peaches where three cents cheeper...
your brother is convinced terrestial fowl (chickens, turkeys, quails and phesants) are out to "get him"...
you have had to chase a pig...
your father uses expersions such as "This should fit like shit through a goose" and "we don't want to crawling all over ourselves like a bunch of donkeys"....
your grandfather has French country-music, and yes, he has made you listen to it, and yes, there was an accordian...
you have developed a keen sense of smell when it comes to electrical fires...
you learnt to drive a tractor before you learnt to drive a car...
you have been told the words "I don't care what it smells like down there, you got to crawl in and catch those damn birds"...
Your father keeps a hunting dog in his garage...
thats all for now. I hopefully will keep updating. I make no promises.
Labels: WWON Rednecks Comedy Terrestrial-Fowl
posted by King O' Mauve @ 9:48 AM
5 Comments:
I'll be eating those words when you're doing my eulogy after I was mauled to death by two quails and a pack of wild chickens
or you will i mean
yeah, mauled to death by quail maybe
About. Freaking. Time.
More frequent updates, please!
In the meantime, watch out for those quail. They're mean bastards. Without brains.
Crap on a stick, BR! First post in a year!!! Guess I win for last year.
I never expect the words, "I have become an amatuer stand up comedian" to come from you. Not that you're not hilarious, 'cause you are, but... I don't know, I just never expected it. Good on ya. I give permission for you to make fun of me, if you ever need to.
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