THE MAUVE KINGDOM

To those of you that take issue with my blog...

I hate to say this guys, but my life is not a series of cliff-hanging fist fights, mystery, fast car chases, and even faster women. Surprising, but true. And apparently, this has been getting some commplaints.

Complaint # 1:
Issue: Brian's blogs are too short
Response: I have not been put on earth to ammuse some of you (you know who you are)... geez... I don't get paid to write this thing after all... this is begining to sound familar... perhaps its time to expalin the Briantorials to those who don't know (See Below)

Complaint #2
Issue: Not enough conservative Social commentary
Response: I don't know why some of you, one of you, a fairly conservative redheaded dude I know, expect me to use my blog to fight the godless hoards of communists. And whats really annoying is that this complaint leads to...

Hypothetical Complaint #3
Issue: Not enough liberal social commentary
Response: Yeah, I know who you are, you thought it as soon as you read number 2... Listen you guys, my blog is not becoming some sort of mini-Viatnam for social justice. You want to fight the cold war, do it on your own blogs. I have my own wars to fight, like the one that invovles bacon and monkeys...

Complaint #4
Issue: Blog not cheerful enough, lacks energy, lacks happiness, depressing
Response: You are no longer allowed to read my blog, pick up your clown suit and go.

Complaint #5
Issue: Not enough Star Trek Related material
REsponse: I will work on it, but theirs very little place for Scotty in my kingdom.

Complaint #6
Issue: Writer is surly, needs an attitude adjustment, lives like a hermit
Response: I got people working on it. Several people are out to 'change me'. STay tuned for results. Maybe they'll just give up, like the Witch.

Complaint #7
Issue: Writer is too sexy, needs to decrease sexiness, mmmm, damn that king is hot
Response: I will try and turn down the heat, but what can I say, when you got it, flaunt it.


Thats it for now.








Oh right, Briantorials
What are the Briantorials, the Briantorials are the predessecor of this blog, I guess, where I took every day events in my friends lives, and made them into mythic adventures.
thats all, all complaints can be forwarded to my cheif of staff. Thank you, hold your questions till the next press conference.

posted by King O' Mauve @ 6:09 PM