THE MAUVE KINGDOM

Canada Day

Many Years Ago, the founding fathers of Canada gathered together. They looked to the east and saw London. And yea, the French did say "Lo, behold, let us curse London, and raise the middle finger towards it." But the English did say "Lo, that is a bad idea, verily, the British shall bring forth their mighty ships and tea cups and make us pay for our transgression." And the English looked to the South, and saw Washington. And yea, they did say "Let us instead curse Washington, and throw rotton eggs at the palace of their mad King, and throw verily great tolite paper rolls over their trees." But it was said by the wise "Nay, for the Americans are quite disagreeable about such things. They tend to be grumpy and gassy, and they would release their raging hoards of drunken Irishmen upon our nation, as we have already seen." So they looked at each other, and decided "Lo, if their is none we can finger, and throw eggs and tolite paper at, let us finger and throw eggs and tolite paper at each other, and continually threaten to seperate over matters of langauge and polution. And let some of us live far away in the west, but the rest of us in the east. And let each province be radically and totally different from each other. And let the French select angry racists and nationalist as their leaders, and the east select bigots, and let the farest reaches of the west only select criminals as their leaders. Let the east coast be filled with people who speak english with such accents, they are hardly understandable, and let the west be filled with a mystical magical plant, that makes people very happy. And let the only thing that unites these people are their mutal loathing of each other, which is only out down by their fear and haterd of their southern neihbors, who are only vaugely aware of their existance anyways."
And yea, on that day, Canada was born. And it was ruled by a drunken womanizing Scot.
Happy Canada day.

posted by King O' Mauve @ 10:05 AM