THE MAUVE KINGDOM

History of the World Part 2: Romans on Ice

Meanwhile... in The Americas

Mesoamerican cultures build massive cities and extensive agriculture, develop states, armies, writing systems and culture, seek out and annex territory... Still no civilization... I mean, come on, that doesn't even look like a Pyramid, for frick sakes... And lets face it, the wheel... come on people, its not rocket science, its the wheel! Does Euroasia have to do everything?

But Little did they suspect... Isreal

Isreal was suffering from a plauge of prophets. They noted serious social problems in Isreal: the plight of widows and childern, the unfair treatment of foriegners, and currupt business practices. This was unamerican, therefore wrong. Often times these disgusting and reviled madmen where driven to the moutains. In retrospect, this only made things worse.

And China

Pretty much the Chinese just came into existance... They just arrived and set up cities... and its pretty much been the same since... and Confucious, he knows

Back to the Important part, aka, Europe

After driving the Iranians out of Greece, the Greeks done went and conqoured the Iranians. This proved to be a mistake. The Greeks should never control anything beyond their little rocks they call Greece. Immidiately after the death of their king, Al, the Greeks predictably began to fight amoungst themselves. Spliting the Empire up, they where quickly Conqoured by the Romans.

The Romans: Roman around the World

The Romans are noted for being the worlds first proffessional Imperialist. Outside of that, they where concerned primarily with building roads and marching in squares. It was a winning combination. Rather then wasting time inventing stuff, they prefected other peoples inventions; thus leading to Roman roads, Roman philosophy, Roman highways, Roman government, Roman paths, Roman hands, Roman side walks. They did however, invent the Emperor, which replaced the senate. The Senate was bad, because it proved to be unamerican. The Emperor ruled with a iron fist; this is a good thing. The Romans went on to conqour the known world, which wasn't very much. They proved unable to conqour the Iranians.... nobody understands why... but most are sure it invovles kangeroos... fricken kangeroos

posted by King O' Mauve @ 11:18 AM