THE MAUVE KINGDOM

Vote Mauve

Well I had thought of a bunch of funny things to say, but to be honest, I have forgotten what they where. Ummmm... so....

Happy Turkey day everyone!!!!

A little early I guess...

So... ummmm...

Theres an election coming up in Ontario. A provincial one. So I feel compelled to make a political statement. Now, I don't really understand politics. I might pretend to, but deep down I don't. I am only vaguely aware of what a conservative and a liberal are. Part of my problem is that when I talk to conservatives, they say I am a liberal, and when I talk to liberals, they say I am conservative. And right now, those same people that tell me where I belong on the spectrum are going, "No, KoM, they are wrong... as usual... you are indeed a liberal/conservative/hippie" I think part of the problem is that I don't really care about the whole left right thing. I mean, the whole thing started on which side of the French king you sat on ... and I haven't sat beside the French king lately...

which in itself explains my problem

I am a king

I AM THE KING OF MAUVE

So its not that I am right of lil'persia or left of my super capitalist friend in halifax. Its that their sitting right and left of me!

So I am not going to say I am left...
I am not going to say I am right...
I am going to say I am not wrong, that is, I am correct, about everything. Because in this blog my word is law. And I said so. BEHOLD

My other problem with politics is that there doesn't seem to be a political movement that articulates my theory of "we just shouldn't be jerks"... there is no anti-jerkism, no san-jerkistas, no Canadian Coalition against Jerks.

And not being a jerk is at the center of what passes as Mauvic Political Thought.

And so sometimes it feels like I am just rearranging chairs on the titanic when I vote. And I know what your thinking "No KoM, not our guys, their the good ones, our party is full of good dudes." And to quote Jerry Seinfeld, "No they're not, they're the same jerks we've been talking about"

So because of this, I often feel like a pregnant woman with a can of tuna when I go into the ballot box. Will the evil mercury of party A destroy the Infant of Democracy. Or does Little Baby Parliament need those precious fatty acids of freedom?

I hope that was a little funny!

A LIST!!!

Top Ten Reasons the King of Mauve should vote for my party

10. Bribery
9. Has monkey and plays accordian
8. gives out free sandwhiches
7. Kisses babies, but not in a creepy way
6. Party leaders vow to get KoM a date with a hot tattoo girl
5. Jesus was a party member, we have his file in our database
4. Will kill the least amount of people if elected
3. Will give KoM a X-box 360 with Halo 3
2. Lil'Persia Certified 100% Free of Fatty Tyranny
1. Sits right beside The King of Mauve

VOTE MAUVE!!!!!!!!!!!

posted by King O' Mauve @ 9:23 PM